Simply Irresistible
by Mithril27
Summary: The movie Simply Irresistible Gundam style! 1x2x1, 3x4x3 plus a stuck up Relena!
1. Default Chapter

Simply Irresistible  
  
Disclaimer: Standard disclaimers apply. Pairings: 1x2, 3x4, 6x9... Storyline: This is the gundam version of the movie Simply Irresistible. That's all I can say.  
  
PART ONE  
  
Duo Maxwell opened a bottle of the 1968 Bourgogne , the finest white wine he had. Surrounded by his friends and employee. He poured out generous amounts in his mother's finest crystal glasses and passed them into waiting hands.  
  
He cleared his throat to get attention and raised his glass in way of a toast. "As we are all gathered here today on this fine day, birds are singing, sky is blue, sun is shining, I, Duo Maxwell would like to thank you all."  
  
He paused to look at the people collected there. "For the last three years, you have weathered the disaster which is my cooking and remained faithful customers. And I know you didn't come for the food. The main reason of this little meeting is that I have decided to sell this quaint little place, my baby, my restaurant. It will run it's normal course for one last month."  
  
The people smiled at Duo in a reassuring way. Clinking their glasses together, each took a swallow of their drink. Duo sat down and a low murmur of conversation broke out. Each spoke quietly not wanting to disturb the solemn air which had fallen over the restaurant. They had not only noticed the exuberant way in which Duo had given his speech but also that his smile was rather wilted and his eyes were shining suspiciously.  
  
"Who is buying it , Duo?" came the voice of Hilde Schiber .  
  
"Oh the dashing pair, Alex and Muller. Actually they are going to check this place in around three weeks or later then decide to keep it this way or bulldoze it." He sighed. The quiet little dinner party continued and the only lights that could be seen from the restaurant window was the warm ethereal glow emitted by the candles.  
  
Heero Yuy was feeling like a fly caught in the trap of a large, obnoxious and extremely clingy spider. Blonde too. He suppressed a sigh as blonde, blue eyed Relena, sister of his boss Zechs and his self proclaimed girlfriend shoved another bouquet of lowers into his arms.  
  
Turning to him she gushed "Oh, the flowers are sooooo beautiful today. Too bad though my favorites pink roses are not here. Oh come on Heero! Look they're selling bunches of snowdrops there!" Squealing, she scuttled away. Heero glared after her and turned to pay the florist who was looking at him with something akin to pity and sympathy.  
  
Heero Yuy was a self made man. He'd worked hard his entire life as he had been taught to do so by his Uncle Odin and then his grandfather J. However being a workaholic and a potentially nerdy man did not put any strain on his love life. Dating was something fleeting and nothing special for him. He'd gone out with dozens of girls, parted with them graciously and remained friends. He had no trouble picking them out. Being tall, dark and handsome literally, with tousled chocolate brown hair and deep sapphire eyes which turned a different shade at every angle, women and men flocked to him like moths drawn to a flame.  
  
However a month ago things had changed. Relana had stumbled into his life literally when he saved her from a dive down a flight of stairs when she had stumbled in her brand new prada heels. It had been love at first sight for her and she had snagged him with such cunning that even he grudgingly admired her. Though that did not stop him from wondering why, WHY had he not let her plunge down those stairs. Now he was looking for an opportunity to break up with her. But lost in her own fantasy world, her PINK fantasy world nothing seemed to touch her mind save clothes, money and being Mrs. Heero Yuy.  
  
He strode after her struggling to hold all the flowers and not drop them. Relena in the meantime had flounced to the pink limo which had just pulled up. She practically leapt into it. Heero stuffed the flowers in after her and bent down. "We will have lunch tomorrow, Relana. I'll call and say where." Not waiting for an answer he straightened and shut the door. Turinig around he spotted a young man holding a vast basket of live snapping crabs staring at him.  
  
Duo trudged into the market. He didn't know why he was bothering. Every day he went and bought minimum amounts of groceries for the restaurant. It usually ended up as presents for the lady who lived next door or in the dustbin.  
  
When Duo had been eight years old, he'd lived in an orphanage. Then his life had changed when one day a brother sister pair, Maxwell and his sister Helen had stepped in and decided that the little scruffy boy with the chestnut braid and violet eyes was theirs. He'd been adopted and since that day showered with love and attention. The restaurant had belonged to the pair and Helen was a wonderful cook. The restaurant would be full everyday and on weekends people would lineup outside to wait for a table. He sighed happily as lovely memories wafted through his mind.  
  
However, Maxwell had passed away when Duo was 20 and a few months later Helen had followed him. Not wanting this legacy of his guardians to fade away he'd put his career as a potential engine designer on hold and had taken over the restaurant. And though for nearly everyday for nearly 10 years he'd sat and watched Helen bustle around, create magic and the most delicious food he'd ever eaten he could not even make the simplest of foods to come out right. As Treize, one of the patrons of the place who had dedicatedly eaten Duo's cooking religiously every week for three years said, some people have the art, the magic in them to create what they desired and some people didn't.  
  
Shrugging off the depressing thoughts, Duo stopped at the fishmongers to buy a piece of fresh tuna. A loud cacophony of snapping made him spin around. A young man maybe a few years elder to him stood there, grinning widely and holding a basket of crabs.  
  
"Today's your lucky day. There are fresh. See, they still have so much spunk in them! For everyone else $75 but for you only $60."  
  
"No thanks, I don't want them. I-" "No?" Suddenly the voice was sly and secretive and the young man leaned close.  
  
Duo noticed that his eyes were lime green, a very unusual color.  
  
"Maybe, you don't want them, but you'll need them." He purred "Buy them, I know you want to...."  
  
Duo felt himself fall into the spell of those incredible eyes. Nodding, he fished out the required money and pressed them into the strangers hand. The basket was handed to him. Duo looked into the basket and was jarred into reality by looking at the marine life. He looked up to protest and buy only half and realized that the young man was gone. Looking around there was no sign of him.  
  
Sighing, he hauled the basket into a more comfortable postion cradled into his arms. Suddnly a large 'pink' limo drove into the crowded market catching his attention. A woman dressed in a bubblegum pink dress bounced into it and was immediately surrounded by flowers shoved in by an astonishingly good-looking man. He stared and eavesdropped the man telling the girl that he'd take her out to lunch the next day. He straightened, turned took a step and stared at him. Oops! He probably realized that Duo was eavesdropping.  
  
"I own a restaurant!" the man with the crabs blurted out.  
  
Hero stared. "Whay did I need to know that?" he asked the figeting person.  
  
"Oh, just like that. You could come. The name is 'Maxwell's Haven'. I'm making crab cakes."  
  
Heero kept staring. Nodding Duo quickly walked away feeling totally stupid and wanting to strangle himself with his braid.  
  
TBC 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2  
  
Standard disclaimers apply.  
  
By the time Duo had walked back to the restaurant, his arms were killing him. Not to mention that a few adventurous crabs wanted out of the basket and wanted to explore the streets of the big apple. He heaved the basket onto the counter of the spotless kitchen.  
  
Wufei gave a lot of importance to cleanliness. Every minute which he did not spend on his job as a website designer was spent cleaning the nooks and crannies of the restaurant. Duo was confident he would survive an unannounced health department check any day.  
  
Hilde, one of his closest friends and who worked as an extra waitress to save him money peered over his shoulder.  
  
"Honey, why did you buy those?" she asked mildly.  
  
Thanking heavens that he had to deal with Hilde and not Wufei's rants, Duo sighed and began to give a detailed account of his whereabouts and the going ons of that day.Nodding sagely, Hilde turned her attention to the crabs not noticing one which was creeping away behind the canisters of sugar.  
  
"Well, I may not be able to change events already passed but I can help you with these." Walking up to the freezer, she grabbed a large bag of ice cubes which she dumped o the crabs. "This will slow them down."  
  
As Duo watched slumped on a rickety discarded barstool nursing a tall cold glass of orange juice, she efficiently filled one of his largest pots with water and set it to boil adding a bit of salt. A few minutes later after having washed the crabs thoroughly with ice-cold water she picked them up, dumped them I the now boiling water and slammed the lid shut. Duo shivered at the thought of being boiled alive.  
  
An hour later Duo was staring at 3 kilos of fresh crab meat ready to be bagged and thrown into the freezer for further use. 'Fool- proof preservation' as Hilde had put it. He looked up as Wufei sauntered in and set about making himself tea. Shoving the meat unceremoniously in bags he shoved the in the freezer.  
  
The calm of the kitchen was broken by Wufei's strangled yell  
  
"What the hell is that?" Duo looked where Wufei was pointing and was immediately looking into the eyes of the last living crab in the restaurant.  
  
"Get aside Duo. I know how to preserve the meat" boomed Wufei having collected his bearings.  
  
"No Wufei, this crab...it looked at me...and it was the only one which survived its fellow crabs....let's ..well lets keep it!" Duo had no idea why he was babbling but he knew he could not let that crab die.  
  
Wufei on the other hand thought.. no knew that Duo had lost his mind. "What?"  
  
"Nothing Wufei. It's just that I want to keep this crab. It survived the others." He turned has eyes pleadingly to Wufei who looked in turn at the cornered crab.  
  
"Fine! Why..? Never mind. Fine. But place in a jug or something and keep it away from the cooking area." Nodding fervently Duo did as instructed smiling inwardly at Wufei's tendency to order him around even when the restaurant belonged to Duo.  
  
"I will name it Shinigami, the god of death as it was the only one which defied death!" Duo proclaimed unaware of Wufei rolling his eyes at his back.  
  
The Next Day  
  
Heero scowled at the pink figure currently stepping off the elevator. Relena had been given strict instructions by him several times not to come to his office. It was too bad that Zechs would conveniently skip work whenever she showed up.  
  
"Relena, what are you doing here?" he asked through gritted teeth. "With the new restaurant opening I have no time."  
  
She giggled.  
  
Heero fought an urge to break her neck. Why.. WHY had he decided to date her? This was the last time. Today he would break up with her. Nodding to his secretary, Noin who he noted was currently doodling large roses around the name Zechs written in big letters that he would be taking off for lunch and she should do the same he snapped  
  
"Relena. Let's go to lunch. We have to talk."  
  
He stamped his way to the elevator with Relena barely keeping up with him. Leading the way to his Ferrari, he mentally planned out the speech beginning with his not being ready for a commitment and ending with a firm 'get out of my face'. He smirked. Oh, this would be so sweet. He would take her to one of the lesser known restaurants as she would probably make a huge scene- one of the things Heero loathed the most. Yes, he would take her to the restaurant the braided guy with the crabs. 'Maxwell's Haeven', yes a nice place for breaking up.  
  
Wufei and Duo sat immersed in a game of chess when the door opened with a tinkle of bells. To Duo's shock, Wufei grabbed his arm and threw him into the kitchen whispering furiously "Get in there! New customers! Doesn't look good for the chef to sitting doing nothing!"  
  
Barely catching himself from landing painfully on his knees Duo glared at Wufei's rapidly retreating back. He seated himself on the rickety barstool awaiting the orders. Hilde came in from the doors. Duo blinked "Aren't you supposed to be busy doing something at the college right now?"  
  
"Yeah, but got the day off. Did you check out the new hottie and the simpering blonde?"  
  
Duo leapt up as if the seat were on fire. "Oh man, I know that guy!"  
  
Wufei strode up to the couple giving the impression that he was doing them a favor taking their orders. Heero calmly looked at the menu and then looked up  
  
"Do you have crab cakes?"  
  
"Yes"  
  
"Good. One plate crab cakes and one plate-"  
  
Relena jerked out of the rather disgusted stare she was giving the little restaurant. Deciding to get the simplest thing possible she said snottily "I want a salad with a French dressing."  
  
"We will also have two bottle mineral water."  
  
Nodding Wufei left. He entered to find Hilde and Duo peering out. Frowning he relayed the orders and then turned to glare at shinigami currently lounging in a jug of clear water.  
  
"Make the salad. I'll defrost the meat." Said Hilde.  
  
After a few minutes of hard uninterrupted work, Wufei said "What a snooty bitch! Turning her nose up. I hope she gets dumped. Must have had some cosmetic surgery to get looking so perfect."  
  
Duo was currently slicing the crab meat into thin layers.  
  
"Yeah. Sooo perfect! Got a look at the guy? Man what a perfect match!" added Hilde.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah" Duo interrupted disdainfully each word punctuated by a hammering blow to the meat to get the spices in. "Totally! Oh, look at me, look at me! I have perfect hair, perfect teeth, perfect hair, a perfec body, lots of money! I get all the guys. Doesn't help if you have a personality from hell." Duo ended viciously ignoring the starteled looks he was receiving.  
  
Hearing another jingle, Wufei went out to take their regulars's orders.  
  
"Two cheese omelets for Treize and Une. Finish making the sauce. I'll make the omelets" said Hilde. When Wufei walked in after serving the omelettes, Duo stepped back to look at his creation.  
  
"Wow. Duo, that looks good!" he exclaimed.  
  
"Thanks! Now go serve it and the salad. I wanna see the reactions!"  
  
Heero looked at the plate of food. It looked pretty good. He saw Relena poking at her salad with a dubious look on her face. He took a bit of crb cake and put it into his mouth. And blinked.  
  
This was delicious!  
  
It was the best thing he'd eaten in years! Feeling a little pink in face but his mask not allowing any of his feelings through he looked up at Relena who'd taken a bite of her salad and was looking at him strangely.  
  
"Why am I with you?" she began slowly.  
  
Straightening up, she stood up and increased the volume of her voice. "I am perfect. Why am I with you? I have perfect hair, perfect teeth-" she paused to check her teeth in the reflection cast off by a spoon. "I have perfect legs, perfect figure.... I am PREFECT. I am leaving to find my perfect mate."  
  
With these last words she picked up her plate of salad and threw it across the restaurant where it shattered with a loud crash. Apparently not satisfied, she stumbled over to the other customers and snatched their plates and flung them across the room. Then she made her way to the display of china dishes and started hurling them far and wide in the restaurant each breaking with a loud crash.  
  
Treize and Une took cover under the table while Wufei, Duo and Hilde stood looking thought the door. Each was reluctant to go out lest the pink menace choose them for target practice. Heero had put his arm around his plate whether to protect it from Relena or the flying shards of the plates, it was unsure, but he continued to eat with a look of pure rapture spread across his face.  
  
Finally having exhausted the plates Relena glared belligerently around the restaurant and then left pausing to pick up her purse. Duo left the safety of the kitchen and crunched over the shattered china to Heero, who'd finished his meal.  
  
Heero looked around as if astonished to see the carnage. Then he stood "Food was excellent." He paused to glance almost sadly at the empty plate. "I'll pay for the meal now. For the damage, why don't you come around the Carrefour, the new market tomorrow. You can order new dishes."  
  
Duo nodded and then pressed a small box into Heero's hand. "This is a complementary dessert. I would ask you to order something but we have no dishes to serve it on."  
  
Heero nodded. "Tomorrow at around 11 fine with you?"  
  
"Yes, yes fine" answered Duo.  
  
Taking the box, Heero placed the cost of the meal with a generous tip and left the restaurant.  
  
Duo watched him leave. Then he turned and asked cheerfully "Who's gonna help me clean up the mess made by the psycho bitch?"  
  
TBC  
  
Thanks for the review, Thalia16 


End file.
